Author: insatiableavi

Just a regular writer around the corner, trying to capture the feelings in my way.

Lead the way sire!

I have a strange philosophy to live and survive,

The rules are to be respected, but there are thousands of ways to thrive.

One can pave the path to lead the way to success,

But there are consequences of all those actions in excess.

The weight on my chest thus is increasing constantly,

By listening to all of the surrounding’s sugar-coated profanity,

Chocking, unable to breathe at all in the atmosphere around,

Looks to me everyone is sucking the life of me and putting me into the ground.

I’ve always tried to go gentle into the good night,

Maybe it was me making peace with my frights.

In the process of looking for the best in everyone,

I reckon I was ousted by the geniuses of society.

So I tell it to the bloodthirsty ones,

“Sure you are not eligible to lead the platoons,

But humour me and lead the way,


At least I would be in the back to either guide you or laugh at your satire.”

And thus,

I get the satisfaction of not being the boss but the humanoid I wanted to be,

Everything I’ve learnt, perceived can be put to a better use than thinking about things with anistropy.


चार की परिभाषा

बचपन से आज तक एक समस्या ने उलझा के रखा है,
सुनते आये हमेशा की फलाना काम करोगे तो चार लोग क्या कहेंगे?
आज तक समझ आया नहीं की कौन हैं ये चार लोग, कहाँ से आते हैं,
क्यों हमारे भेड़चाल समाज में इतना डर फैलते हैं.

चकाचौंध वाली एक सड़क पे चलने पे हो या,
अकेले अँधेरी गलियों में फिरनें का सोचा हो कभी,
हर राह बस अलग अलग चौराहों पे आके थम सी गयी,
के फिर लगा के शायद चार लोग से पूछ ही लेना पड़ेगा रास्ता अभी.

अब जब चौराहों पे रास्ता समझते चारों खाने चित्त होके ,भटकने का एहसास हुआ,
तब सोचा की कहाँ गए वो चार लोग और उनकी वो ‘यह करलो, आगे तो ऐश है वाली’ दुआ.
चंचल मन को तब यह कहके समझाया,
ज़िन्दगी का सार तो सरलता है , न की कोई मोह माया.

सुना था कभी की चार दिन की चांदनी है,फिर अँधेरी रात,
चार का ये फेर तो लेकिन चार दिन की ज़िंदगानी के बाद भी करता है फरियाद,
चार लोगो के चार कंधो के लालच में, सब सपने अपने ताक पर रख जाता है हर कोई,
बस समझ पाता नहीं तो ये की चार के चक्कर में क्या झूठ है और क्या सच्चाई.

उपरोक्त चार छंदों पे चार पंक्तिया बस और,
चार के चक्कर में न पड़के अगर कर लेते थोड़ा सुविचार,
मंज़िल पे अपनी पाँव पसार लेते आखिरकार,
फिर क्या चार लोग, जानने वाले बन जाते कई हज़ार.

Satisfaction is a myth

Since the start of this new year, I have been getting so many lessons,

Amecable they may sound, amenable is their essence.

Time is the puzzle, waiting to be solved by no one ever,

It’s a treasure which belonged to everyone and no one to endeavour.

Sorting the disasters throughout to save the deep-feelings-bay,

Freefalling into it as it can be to enjoy one more lonely day.

Although I know I may look immaculate while hiding the anger with silence,

Conversations then are better suited inside my head for better guidance.

The traction for treding the path like a toddler,

Intrusions became the real deal due to havoc caused by my mind’s stratus.

Only when I am able to define the circles of content for all the desires,

No correct way is ever defined to be the happiest one,even when you and I will retire.

Idioms as an ideology are not the ones to be treated as lessons,

So they are wrapped and imposed to us like a social laws.

A way to achieve content, felicity and peace is through simplest of understanding,

Myth busting and drawing silver linings while reading the lies ever expanding.

‘You shall not pass’ the bar of life untill you fulfill all those rituals known to a man,

The moment you do so, that’s the moment of truth to reveal the very simple plan,

Hiding in the schematics so simple, making us delusional to basics is the best joke life can pull on the man!

खौफ और खाइशें

ज़िन्दगी के सफर में, मंज़िलों की तलाश में,

हम हर किस्म का अनुभव बनाते चलते आएं हैं,

अभावों के एवज में ख्वाहिशो को चकमा देते बस कुछ दस कदम बढ़ाएं हैं,
पीछे अब जब नज़र पलट के देखा की क्या खोया इन अरमानों को छोड़ के,
एक अलग ही एहसास समझ में आया ॥

कभी जिनको ख्वाहिशें समझा था, वो तो दरअसल एक समझौता थे,
फितरत ऐसी पाल ली थी की दिखावो के पीछे भाग रहे थे,
अब जब कुछ एहसास हुआ ऐसा की किंकर्तव्यविमूढ़ हो उठे,
जिन्हे मंज़िल समझ बढ़ रहे थे ख्वाहिशों की,
वो तो हार के खौफ के एवज में बन गयी थीं ॥

जब गौर किया तो लगा के बचपन से अब तक मंसूबे तो कुछ अलग करने के थे,
कभी पायलट, कभी साइंटिस्ट तो कभी अफसर बनने के थे,
ये कहा चार लोग के डर से प्रैक्टिकल होकर उन अरमानो को खौफ की चादर में लपेट कर छुपा लिया,
के अब सोचूं तो लगता है, ऐसे ख़ौफ़ज़दा होके कौनसा सोने का महल बना लिया ॥

अथक प्रयासों की जब थकान उतरी तो एक बात ज़ेहन को समझ आयी,
यहाँ प्रयासों की तो सिर्फ सराहना होनी है,असल पूछ तो परिणामो की है
बस अब तो ज़माने से इतनी सी है दुहाई,
की ज़माने के खौफ की लगाई बंदिशों से ज़िन्दगी की ख्वाहिशों कही न हो जाये अंतिम विदाई ॥

What have you planned for?

So…maybe another rant here..but here it goes!!

Everyday when you get a notification of Facebook,

“Mate! Here’s some memories to be looked”

Have you ever wondered how many you have planned and how many are the ran-dumb status?

Or is it only I, who, whenever see something of past,gets anxious.

I had to think this way maybe because I have seen people planning all the time,

Someone buying life insurance to ensure a good life after death,

I have to give it to their confidence of knowing that they may not be at their prime,

And how we want to calculate and manipulate every last breath.

Do you reckon you one can predict the forces of nature and the rules unwritten?

Can we even plan for each and every smitten?

It’s wonderful to see that the world’s ever hoping,

But so does the despairs waiting for the ‘right’ planning!

I got an advise one day, from my financial advisor,

He said, “get a life insurance, and make the future brighter”

I wondered if it was his future he was talking about,

As I am no wiser in planning life after deaths, as that plan can never be carried out.

Sometimes, I feel i am lacking the empathy, or apathy, I don’t know!

It’s difficult for me to put the emotions on a social show,

Maybe I am still a kid struggling to understand the ways,

That how can you plan something which cannot be planned anyways.

Death of the outsider

Now this is going to be a difficult to put in shape,
I am not sure if this is going to be the curtain drop,
Frankly, I am unsure this time what thoughts from my brain may escape,
I am still working on how to make them stop.

For a long while now, maybe since the time I entered the maturity faction,
I grew an strange affection for the unusual fiction.
People used to give examples of fairy tale endings to motivate our childhood adventures,
I however, just hovered towards the darker side, so that my reality quenches.

Everywhere I’ve been, everyone I’ve met, I always felt like an outsider observer,

Trying to get the 360 degree view of each and everyone’s fervour.

Be it the kin, be it the friends, be it anyone,

I had always felt There’s more to it, there’s always a hidden reason.

I have been finding it difficult to breathe in the air,

More I blend in, more I absorb the dispair.

Though I love being around all of them at all moments,

But being the outsider I have been, I may have never felt the warmth of that embrace.

After actually fitting in and being on the inside,

First I thought as the outsider I might leave life on a peaceful night.

Little did I knew, there were that what I’ve become,

I can never be complete untill I have seen the insider’s perception.

It’s strange sometimes that we say that life is unpredictable,

We always plan to live through the end,

It’s the end which takes the cake with all the deception,

And be the real MVP to make the final amends.


How much I miss the capability of converting one single thought to multiple verse,
Now just trying to come up with a solelequi for the entire universe.
Maybe I wasn’t good ever at any of this I had boasted for,
So I am just desperately trying to put words no one care for.

What used to take hours earlier,now isn’t getting shaped even in few days time,
I guess I seriously lost the touch of my prime time.
Maybe I had evolved to be a better person, but now lacks the zeal and creativity,
Maybe I just want to be stable in this life for the sake of finding some serendipity

Looking for some inspirations at maybe virtual and wrong places,
Even trying Gambling to win to get all the ace’s
One may see now how desperate I am to put some words in good Places
Just for completing any nonsensical set of phrases

So many changes happening now in and around the life,
It’s Somewhat impossible to keep a check on the effects on the time,
Had to do a lot of thinking to make sense of the things going on ,
Not sure why I’m trying when nothing was ever in my hand

Taking too much time now to put this randomness altogether to make some sense,
Trying to make them as the pieces of the puzzles of the life,just like the time of adolescence
Maybe I need a break from the things happening around me to solve this problem,
Or I might have to think that it’s just a life’s way to Teach me. It doesn’t require any solutions.

Now even I try to finish off this verse to have my logical conclusion for this affair,
Cannot even think of a title, not sure how this is fair,
Maybe I’ll just keep it, shape it as I wanted,
Maybe from here on now, I’ll have the opportunity to get the best of life, maybe that was always granted.

Fundamental findings

There has to be something wrong with my approach to live,
As I never understood why i am again and again falling in the same circumstances
I might be trying my best to beat the world in its own game to survive,
Albeit I get caught in the crossfire between the thrive to excel and unfortunate chances.

It could be that I am fundamentally wrong,
As I have always been challenged on my ways to see things,
People have been too politically correct and headstrong,
And I feel out of the world as I can’t connect those obvious strings.

If I ask my ‘wellwishers’ for some guidance to not survive but excel,
I get to hear things like ‘mate, you gotta come out of your shell’.
If only I was good enough to explain that this is who I have been,
And trust me just once here, that one is the simplest solution I have seen.

I honestly think, I am fundamentally different,
I accept that.
However, when I yell out, that’s literally everyone,
I get the middle finger by my destiny, by the way, transcribed destiny to everyone around!

I am just a different kind of person like everyone is,
Only difference with me that I want to embrace the differences,
But then again, my thinking might be invaluable as I couldn’t flatter a few,
I feel this apathy not due to being fundamentally challenged, at least, that’s not new.

Eventually I might be the one to give in.
As I am just tired, tired of explaining.